Saturday, May 18, 2013

I did not give permission for this

Growing up that is. He just went and did it without even concidering how it would make me feel.
Truth is I'm not ready for it.
My oldest just left for his very first ever-all by hisself -without his dad along- Boy Scout Camping Trip. And I am as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. This is not a good feeling I can tell ya.

Sure he's been on lots of camping trips and I do mean lots, but Big Daddy has always been along as Scout Leader.

Big Daddy says that our boy has been asking to camp with the guys by hisself and he feels confident that its time to let him spread his wings of independance a little. Me on the other hand I just want to stomp the brakes and be "Hey no one asked if I was ready for this!!" And to make matters worse I'm not allowed to tell him I'm worried because that will only weigh on him and make it harder for him to break loose of always being under our thumb. So don't tell but I am worried!!!

Do I think he'll survive the night?? YES, wholeheartedly yes, but its the little things that worry me. Like will he get enough to eat, What if he gets sick, what if, what if, what if??

Truth is I trust the Scout Leader. I truly do. He's a great guy and infact I sit either right in front of him or right behind him every Sunday during service at our Church. He's great on a personal level too and he's a very well trained, well informed, well knowledged scout.

So I know things will be fine, I do but the mommy in me wants to keep him little much longer than I'm getting the option to.

Truth is I'll worry till he comes home and once he gets here he'll probably tell me what an awesome amazing time he had and I'll end up feeling foolish for worrying in the first place. And I'll put on my biggest smile and say Oh I knew you'd love it bud!!!  Ugh this being a momma is hard!!!

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