Wednesday, March 12, 2014


I'm not gonna lie, I'm struggling today. The tears no matter how hard I fight them have come easy today, Twice so far actually.


Tomorrow's my birthday, and I'm not excited. Silly huh? And its not for the reason one may think. Getting older does bother me, mostly because I see my children growing and I'm not ready to let them be older, lol But I'm struggling because I'm missing people that were important to me.

I'm struggling because I know that tomorrow My Gram isn't going to call, it will be the first time ever that she won't be calling me to wish me a Happy Birthday. And it  S.U.C.K.S !!

I miss her every day since she's left us, I just don't let it get to me, I mean I try hard to just poke it down and squash the sadness feelings, it sounds horrible but I'm the tough one or I'm supposed to be. I have to keep it together so that I can keep my family from falling apart. I've always been the fixer. The one to make it better.  The problem is I CAN"T MAKE THIS BETTER, I CAN"T FIX THIS.

And I hate it.

This will be the first birthday my gram won't be calling and the 4th birthday that my daddy hasn't called. I miss them so much.

Remember when we were kids and all we wanted to be was adults?? What were we thinking?? No one ever told us it would be this hard sometimes??

Missing people sucks. HORRIBLY!!

But remembering how much they loved you helps a lot. Thank God for memories!!

Friday, March 7, 2014

Spring Fever and Apple Seeds

Do you have it?? Spring Fever??


And we've got it bad!!

There is still snow on the ground from our most recent snow storm and the weather man is saying its a possibility for more snow/wintery precipitation sometime next week. SHEESH!!

I'm looking forward to spring though. I can't wait it get into my garden!! We've decided to expand again. Surprise Surprise, huh?? Nah not really!! The way my kids are consuming food I've gotta try and get ahead of their intake, lol

My youngest son has the fever too!! Yesterday morning as he watched me cut up an apple for his lunchbox he said to me "Mama can you plant those seeds from the apple?" I told him yes, it might not turn into the exact apple he had in his lunch but yes, possibly he would get an apple tree of some sort. So yes I dug the seeds out of the apple core and I saved them in a zippy bag until we can plant them in some dirt. Why not?? Right?? Experiments are cool and don't tell him but they're educational too!! And who knows maybe they'll grow and in a few years we'll be harvesting apples? Doesn't hurt to try!! I'm flexible like that I guess, lol

So that's it, just sitting here with it still being cold and dreary outside and waiting on spring to get here.

13 days and counting down!! WE CAN'T WAIT!! How 'bout you???