Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Ready for Christmas???

Ummm No, me neither, lol

I still have a couple things to buy, then of course the baking and there's always the housework that needs done and to be honest we haven't even put up the tree yet. I know I know its awful.

Partly I am hoping that by putting it up late I will only have to decorate it once, not the 40 or 50 times it might need redecorating once the baby has her way with it, lol

Speaking of the baby, its not gonna be easy on me to come to terms with the fact that she will be 2 on the 28th of this month. No, not easy at all. She's my last child and I just am not ready.

I am however excited that she is excited about all the lights on the houses that we see when driving at night, how she lights up when she sees someone's christmas tree when we are visiting, the fact that she does a super adorable santa inpersonation, both with the Ho Ho Ho's and the munching of cookies, I wonder though if Santa leaves as many crumbs behind as she does??

My christmas spirit is slow in coming to surface this year, I'm doing better than last year, last year I didn't want to do christmas at all, I miss him, so terribly much, I grieve for what my kids are missing without my dad here. I miss that "Santa" won't call them like he did me when I was their age. I know in my heart that God had a reason to take him, I know that and I trust that, I have faith that my dad is enjoying christmas in heaven with great grandma who raised him, with Great Uncle Jennings that was his father figure growing up, I am sure he is up there spoiling the baby we lost, I know he is better and not sick anymore. But it still hurts not to have him here. And I know Jesus is the true reason for the season but it just doesn't feel like christmas without my daddy.

And ya know I can almost hear him saying, ok straighten up, you've got those kids to think about, you don't have time to boo hoo, they are expecting a great christmas and its up to you to give it too them.

And I will Daddy I promise.

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